Here's What You Can Do When Your Teen Lacks Respect 

Every parent knows when a teen's behavior crosses the line and becomes truly unacceptable. Yet, very few of them actually know how to deal with this kind of behavior among their teens.

For example, how often have you said to your teen "You're not going to talk to me like that", only to have him or her respond with disrespect? Do you draw a line then and there and determine a punishment because your teen has gone too far?

What would you do if your teen is frequently and deliberately being rude, condescending and insensitive?

While it is absolutely clear that these are the kind of problems you need to nip right in the bud, you also need to understand why these kinds of things happen.

As kids grow up, the part of their brain that involves emotion control and practical decision making is the slowest to mature. That is why teens generally lack the control or decision making that adults have, and this is the cause of the unstable moods or attitudes among teenagers, and behind the many episodes of conflicts between parents and their teens.

Doing nothing will not stop this bad behavior. Moreover, bad behaviors have the tendency to escalate into bigger, harder to solve issues.

Here are ways of handling your teen's disrespectful behavior:

Define Houses Rules Regarding Proper Behavior and Communication

For example, you can set the rule "We speak respectfully in our family", which includes answering questions politely, no calling people names, no back talk, no offensive actions and body language and shouting. Set clear consequences if these rules are broken. Also, involve your teen during these discussions about rules, so you later remind that he or she helped make and agreed with the rules.

Most importantly, let your teens know exactly which behaviors are not acceptable in the household. For example, vulgar phrases, even when said as a jest, should not be allowed. The same goes with displays of anger, even if it is not aimed at anyone specifically.

Hear Out Your Teen's Reasoning Completely

There are times when teenagers are actually right in one thing, and a decision or two on your part turned out to have been less than well thought out. In this situation, it is important for parents to acknowledge their mistakes and show a willingness to reconsider a rule or decision. This is also a good opportunity to teach your kids the value of accepting one's mistakes with grace.

Firm Determination to Consistently Stick by Your Rules

Persistence is among the weapons children are going to use against parents, by incessantly arguing to a demand hoping they will wear out their parents. When setting a rule or issuing a "No" answer, stick by it and be firm.

Do not allow your teens to bend the rules or get away of its consequences no matter how long he or she wheedles and whines. A firm determination to consistently stick by your ruling or decision will teach your teens that disrespectful behavior will not get them what they want.

Stay Calm and Remain, Civil, When Having a Difficult Conversation With Your Teen

Whenever a difficult or heated discussion is taking place between you and your teen, it is best that you remain calm and continue coolly with whatever you have to say. Do not allow yourself to get drawn into a battle of words; try to keep the conversation civil and do not let your own anger get into your remarks. .

This is important if your teen reacts to a discussion with 'attitude' since difficult discussions are perfect opportunities to teach your teens about self-composure and respect of others' viewpoints. If you can, use humor to lighten the tone of a conversation. Being light hearted can also help diffuse a difficult situation.

Be a Good Role Model to Your Kids

It might not like it, but teenagers look up to their parents throughout their lives. That why children tend to copy mannerisms of their moms and dads, take their views and leanings as their own, talk the way they do, and think the way they do. This is the reason why parents should be a good role model to their kids.

For example, children of parents who smoke and drink are several times more likely to drink and smoke once they reach the adolescence stage. Dr. Joseph I Miller III of Piedmont Heart Institute states that children are greatly influenced by those around them. If they see an adult they admire smoking, they are much more likely to pick up the habit since they will view it as something cool, grown up, or even expected. So think twice before you show to your kids habits you do not want them to pick.

Understanding Why Teens Do It

According to the American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry, rude, oppositional and defiant behavior in teens is expected part of their development behavior. Teenagers become difficult to deal with whenever they are tired, hungry, stressed or upset, and they may defy, talk back, and disobey authority figures, not only parents but also their teachers and guardians.

This pattern of behavior is explained by researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda. On their recent MRI studies, it was revealed that teens have an underdeveloped frontal lobe compared to the rest of the brain responsible for intelligence, creativity, growth, sensory and motor skills. The underdeveloped frontal lobe is responsible for judgment, decision making, and impulse control.

This means, the reason why teenagers are selfish, reckless and irritable, is because their brains are still incomplete. While adults can control and keep emotions like anger and irritation in check, a teenager's underdeveloped brain might not let him or her do the same thing.