It’s very unfortunate when teens get in trouble with the law because such things often have a profound effect on their future. Some offenses are relatively easy to live down, other are not. Many teens find their lives changed because of some silly mistake they made while having “fun” with their friends.
It’s heartbreaking to hear about teens who become registered sex offenders because they passed on sexually explicit photos of their classmates, or endangering their own and other people’s lives by drinking and driving after a party. Whether it’s a small offense or not, it’s quite daunting for a teen to be in trouble with the law. The emotional turmoil this puts parents through is also difficult to handle.
Learning About Consequences
The protective instincts of parents oftentimes get in the way of teaching their teen’s important life lessons, especially on consequences. Well-meaning parents put up defenses around their children in order to protect them, but it only succeeds in teaching them that they can get away with wrongdoings if they have the right people beside them.
It’s difficult to see your teen in trouble with the law, but protecting them from the consequences of their bad judgments teaches them nothing constructive. If parents provide a convenient escape for their teens, it’s almost certain that they’ll get into even worse trouble in the future.
Responding to Your Teen’s Arrest
It’s every parent’s nightmare to get that call in the middle of the night, asking them to come down to the police station because their teen is in trouble. If your teen has been arrested, keep your calm and collect your thoughts before you rush out to rescue him/her. Your first concern is your teen’s safety. Once you are assured that your teen is safe and in police custody, you can think clearer.
Get the details of the arrest first from the police, before you talk to your teen. It’s essential to know whether your teen will be released to your custody or not. Not all arrests go to court, in fact (depending on the case), some police officers may choose to just release teens to their parents without filing a case against them.
In instances where teens’ cases need to go to court, parents can at least take comfort with the fact that the details of the case will be sealed once they reach adulthood. However, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take the situation seriously. For out of control teens who are difficult to discipline, allowing them to stay in jail for a short time before bailing them out can actually do them some good. Some parents opt not to bail their teens out to teach them an important lesson about their offense.
If a lawyer needs to be retained, you can opt for a private or public lawyer. In some cases, it’s better if parents talk to their teens about how they can contribute financially to paying a part of their legal fees. They can take small jobs (like mowing neighbors’ lawns), sell off some possessions (like gaming consoles, their computer or mobile phone), or do some special tasks at home on top of their chores.
It’s also strongly suggested for parents to be present during all court proceedings, if it should come to that, in order for teens to feel their parents’ presence and support.
Should you Look Into Alternative Solutions?
It’s important for parents to listen to their teens’ side of the story, no matter what their prior history may be. Just because they lied before doesn’t mean that they’re lying now. Your teen needs to feel your love and support during these times, and the way you conduct yourself may inspire a turning point in your relationship with your teen. Despite the disappointment that you may feel towards your teen, taking an active role in figuring out this situation with him/her is important.
Looking into alternative solutions such as plea bargaining, offering restitution, community service, and similar alternatives can be good for your teen. The important thing is not to take away the weight of the consequences of their actions. If your teen is a first-time offender, the juvenile justice system often shows some leniency. However, repeat offenders may find it more difficult to get lenient punishments.
There’s nothing wrong with trying to help your teen reduce the impact of their arrest on their future, but parents must strike a balance between protecting their children and teaching them to face the consequences of their decisions.
Get Your Teen Real Help
It’s strongly suggested that parents think about getting their teens to therapy or counseling. The experience of getting in trouble with the law is sometimes not enough to address the underlying issues that got teens in that situation in the first place.
Oftentimes, teens who get into trouble with the law are those crying out for help. Unaddressed issues will keep on brewing inside your teen unless they get resolved somehow. Ignoring these underlying issues may only result in your teen’s criminal behavior to progress in the future, affecting even the quality of their adult life.
