Defiance is not rare occurrence among teenagers. According to experts, the defiant behavior is sometimes an offshoot of the difficulties and challenges teens normally face as they transition towards adulthood.
It is also how kids assert their independence from their parents, says Professor Susanne Ayers Denham of George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. For example, a teenager busy playing video games might refuse to come to the table for dinner, and he might just yell “Not now!” Or he might come to the table surly and refuse your request to wash the dishes after dinner. Or a teenage daughter might come home moody and irritable, preferring to lock herself up in her room and refusing to do her assigned chores.
Most parents go through difficult periods with their teens, particularly during ages 13 to 18 years old, when their teens are starting to gain a stronger sense of individuality and separation from parents. However, how do parents differentiate “normal” testing behaviors that sometimes only need to be overlooked – to behavior that is more severe?
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, when defiant behavior is so frequent and consistent, that it stands out when compared with other children of the same age, and it interferes with the teen’s capability to perform his or her obligations, such as getting good grades – then this behavior may need to be checked.
Teens with Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Identifying normal teens to teens suffer from Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is hard, as even the healthy, well-balanced ones, sometimes become argumentative, belligerent and defiant. However, according to The Journal of Family Practice, ODD most commonly does not occur as a solitary diagnosis, and it is most often associated with other problems, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
In children with ODD usually display the following pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior:
- Frequent temper flare ups, frequent anger and resentment
- Frequent expletive laced tirades
- Excessive opposition with authority figures, and often questioning rules
- Active defiance and refusal to comply with rules, including simple requests
- Deliberate attempts to irritate and annoy people
- Deliberate attempts to aggravate problems, negative commitment in family problem solving
- Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
- Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
- Mean and spiteful attitude and
- Vindictiveness or revenge seeking attitude
- Cannot accept “No” for an answer
- Trouble at school: bullying, frequent suspensions, threat of expulsion, repeated flunking of subjects
Take note, these behaviors do not automatically mean your teen is suffering from ODD. Nonetheless, if these behaviors appear frequently, consistently, and persists over long periods of time, i.e. for months, then it should be a reason to be worried. If these behaviors prevent your teen from functioning effectively at school, at work, or in a social environment, then these behaviors are severe that should require immediate action on your part.
Here are additional signs that your teen is suffering from ODD:
- You are worried of what might cause the next outburst
- You are hesitant to request something from your teen
- You feel like you are always “walking on eggshells” with your teen
- Your teen is causing excessive stress to your family on a regular basis
- Whatever rules, boundaries and limitations you set are met with active defiance and hostility
- When you can’t say “No” to your teen
Solutions for Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Teens
According to many experts, there is no single treatment found to be solely effective in treating ODD teens, although several intervention strategies that have been proven effective in dealing with oppositional and defiant behavior disorders.
One strategy is implementing behavioral therapy to the struggling teen in junction with parent training programs for the parents. As oppositional and defiant behaviors are a family problem, it requires family based solutions to fix. At a bare minimum, a professional can model parenting styles that can be used, while also educating parents about basic behavioral tools to use when interacting with their struggling teenager. Moreover, the counselor can plan an effective behavioral therapy individualized to the needs of the struggling teenager.
