My Child Fails to Complete Tasks What Can I Do as a Parent

Many parents put a lot of emphasis on their children’s academic performance. At times it may get to an unhealthy level of involvement where it seems the parents are the ones going back to school. The truth is that parents usually care more about academics than their children do because children don’t yet understand the impact of their academic performance in their future.

Thus the homework war every night. Are unmotivated children really just being defiant about finishing their tasks? How can parents help their children focus on a task and see it to completion without hovering around them too much? 
It helps to understand that children naturally do have shorter attention spans than do adults, but there are things that shorten their attention span even more than usual.

Jeffrey Freed, M.A.T., the author of Right-brained Kids in a Left-Brained World emphasizes that one factor which contributes significantly to shortening children’s attention span are today’s various technologies. The shifting images, sound bytes and attractively flashing colors of video games and TV shows contribute to shaping the developing brains of children to expect changes to happen visually and aurally in a short span of time.

Staying away or at least limiting and regulating the time that children spend on electronic entertainment would greatly help in increasing their attention span. Here are other tips that parents can do to help their children finish their homework and other tasks:

• Help them gain momentum – The hardest part of doing homework or projects is actually starting on it. It would be a lot easier if parents would accompany their children for the first 10 to 15 minutes just to help the get started on their tasks. Parents can look at the task list of their children and help them decide which ones to tackle first. Usually, when the kids are able to build momentum, they can sustain it for the next hour or so. Remember, your role is to guide, not to control your child to finish his/her tasks.
• Create an environment conducive to studying – It’s important for children to have a quiet, uncluttered space where they can study and make their school projects. It’s better if this space is somewhere open in the house (i.e., not their bedroom). Turning the TV off in the living room where children can do their homework during designated study hours can help.
• Teach children how to organize and prioritize – Making organizing fun is a great way of teaching children to stay on top of their tasks. Putting a blackboard or whiteboard with colorful markers in their room and in the kitchen or family room can definitely help them in cultivating the habit of making lists and visual reminders.
• Set structures and limitations – Make it clear to your child that they can only enjoy free time at night when they have finished their school work. If they don’t finish their homework, setting an age-appropriate punishment that fits the offense helps young people work with the structure you’re trying to set. It would also be best to make a routine out of putting everything needed for school in their bags before going to sleep so that they won’t forget anything when they’re rushing to prepare in the morning. Doing this repetitively would eventually help children form the habit of checking their things before going to bed.

In some cases, children do put the effort into schoolwork and completing other tasks, they just honestly can’t seem to focus on anything long enough to finish them and take their finished products to school. Such is the case of ADD/ADHD children who are often perceived to be lazy and unmotivated because they keep on forgetting things like writing down their assignments or bringing their finished assignment to school with them.

There is a difference between a child who willfully won’t do his homework and a child who puts effort into doing his homework but gets easily distracted in the process. If you suspect that your child has ADD/ADHD, it’s best to consult your family physician and/or therapist just to be sure.

What if your child has ADD/ADHD?
If your child is diagnosed to have ADD/ADHD, the tips above would still apply. All children need a healthy routine and a consistent structure to work with. Parents with ADD/ADHD kids just have to remember that for children with this disorder, their lack of focus is unintentional. Working closely with your family therapist would help in determining if your child can start on medication as a way of controlling the symptoms.

It helps to work in a place where there is as minimal distraction as possible. Getting a lot of physical exercises also helps children with ADD/ADHD calm down enough to heighten their decreased ability to focus. Depending on a child’s age, it also helps to explore the possibility of sending him/her to a therapeutic school for children with ADD/ADHD.

There is no cure for ADD/ADHD, but it can certainly be treated. Continuous therapy can help your child become an advocate for himself/herself and become a healthy, happy, and better-adjusted individual.